dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
