Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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