You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
