Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
