I hate all girls vehemently.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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