the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
