and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
