they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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