she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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