Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Bring me that man meat
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
