i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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