i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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