I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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