He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
