Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
