when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
