You're my little dorito
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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