I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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