I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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