I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
