Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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