Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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