2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
