i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
