You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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