I hate all girls vehemently.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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