so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
