My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
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He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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