before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
