Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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