i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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