Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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