I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
