Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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