i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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