spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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