I'm jealous of your bromance
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
