You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
