I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
