i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
