1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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