I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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