i would punch a child for taco bell
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
