I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
