OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
