Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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