Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
