I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
