I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
