it was like eating out sand paper
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
