That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
