i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
