Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize