So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
