Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
