his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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