I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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