So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
