Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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