Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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