Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
